It's all Chinese to me

I have been behaving like the nerd of all nerds, the geek of all geeks and, rightly so, the loser of all losers. I decided to not take on any work for 5 days in order to fully concentrate on my other work, namely homework, tasks, papers, assignments and presentations.

I am drained, exhausted and feel even more stupid than before I started this exercise. I tied myself to the sofa on Saturday, surrounded by lots of Russian dictionaries, and told myself I wasn't allowed to get up until all my work was finished. At 2AM (!) I was done and very relieved I was able to go to the loo...

The entire weekend (aside from a Proms rehearsal Sunday evening) I studied Russian like a geek. I just feel I have spent so much time and effort into something of which the outcome is so tiny, shitty and little. It's just not worth it. Really.

Started reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov which so far is excellent. (book was written in English - by no means will I attempt to read a Russian one!) I would probably grasp even more of the literary meanings and demeanors, if I would have an English dictionary next to me. Therefore I intend to go to bed tonight with Lolita and a dictionary. The words this man produces are simply incredible. Some of them you know the meaning of, but not in the context he puts them in! I don't know where he found them (must have had an excellent thesaurus), but some of them are simply unpronounceable...

Poltroon, perfunctorily, ignominiously, rickety, squalid, receptacle, volubility, lichen, drumlins, delectable, rampart, conflagaration, etc. SEE!